Sunday, September 19, 2010

My life...My way....

I listen to me...and me alone. I don’t know how bad it is. Ok I admit that I’m stubborn. I don’t listen to many. I argue. I fight. Not that I don’t respect them. It’s just that it feels better when things get done [or may be not!]in my way. It’s always been like that. From relationships to my future. I make my own decisions. So many of those have been flaws. I know. But I don’t regret. I never did. May be it would have been better if I had listened to those around me. I don’t know. It’s just not going right with me. Neither does it feel right when I have to argue with my dear ones. I go out of my mind when I start arguing but later get upset, not for what I said but for what they felt about it. [sigh]
Last week went half the way happy…n half the way sad. After the long wait, I’m about to join a professional course. I’m so excited. College of veterinary and animal sciences, thrissur. 5 n a half years away, I’m gonna be a veterinarian…… i'm gonna be a doctor[ wow…sounds good! Hehe…at least to me]. I have never been this excited since…umm… may be…since my 10th boards [hihi]. To add on to the happy part, Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….I got my driving license…!!!
But my excitement faded at some faces. The faces where I expected the same excitement as mine are now turning away from me. Or am I knowingly turning away from them? I don’t know. But I’m hurt. Having to explain myself to the ones whom I thought are the only ones who know me is even more hurting. Till now I thought they had the same viewpoint as mine. They just made me realize it’s not. I just don’t know how to answer them. I have the guts to talk back and argue with anyone else who try to pick on me unnecessarily. But now that I’m going on my own… I think I better be silent.
And now, I just decided to be a veterinarian. How does it sound? Anything wrong? I mean, I don’t get it... because for “many”….it’s like…
Doctor -“wow”.
Dentist -“woow…better than MBBS…sounds a lot of money!”
Veterinarian -“uhh…u could have got BDs…Why vet??...ayurvedha is better…anywise, hehe…it’s your future... You can do whatever u want…what are going to specialize on…donkey or monkey…hehe… no offence…I was just joking”.
All I ever wanted to be was a doctor though I never actually had a perfect ambition of what I should specialize on. But it was the only field I was interested in…the only reason which made me cancel my allotment to the best engineering college in kerala [even though I loved math!] MBBS of course was my first try. I couldn’t make it. And I haven’t given up yet. But as for now, I needn’t go behind the now happening custom of going for BDS if not for MBBS. BDS of course is good. Anything is good when you are happy doing it. I think vet wouldn’t be a bad choice for me. I mean, I love pets!!!!!!!! [Though I’m not allowed to have any… my mom hates em :(]. If I have the good mind to look after humans…why not the other animals…I find them way more innocent.
Putting all this drama apart, I’m still excited. Day after tomorrow, I’m going to see my new college. New place. New faces. New coat!!!!!! WOW!!!!!